Greetings

Brazilians are extremely warm and friendly, and this is apparent in the way they greet each other. If you’re meeting a woman—whether a long-lost friend or a stranger—you’ll greet her with two kisses (beijos), one on each cheek. Women kiss men as well, while men greeting men shake hands. However, among younger men as well as male friends and family members, back slapping, hugging (abraços), and other forms of friendly physical contact are quite common. When taking leave of each other, the same hugging and kissing rituals apply. If anything, they are much warmer on account of intimacies (and alcohols) shared.

Public Displays of Affection

Brazilians are naturally very affectionate, which can sometimes cause confusion for foreigners. A lot of friendly hugging and kissing goes on in public, and the sense of privacy and personal space is quite different than in North America. Brazilians not only love to be together (Garbo’s “I want to be alone” is a very foreign concept), but when they’re together, they sit close and touch one another a great deal.

In general, such behavior merely demonstrates a natural playfulness and lack of hang-ups about expressing affection, and you shouldn’t treat it as sexual. When they want to be, Brazilians can be great and thoroughly effective flirts, and the expression jogar o charme (cast your charm) is often recommended (both seriously and tongue-in-cheek) as a way of getting something (a discount, a restaurant table, a favor).

Another thing about Brazilians is that they tend to be far less hung up about their bodies (and revealing them in public) and about sex matters in general than North Americans. However, it’s a serious mistake to confuse sensuality with licentiousness or with an “anything goes” attitude. And looking sexy should not be equated with someone wanting to have sex.

Jeito Brasileiro (The Brazilian Way)

Dar um jeito or um jeitinho is a common Brazilian expression that sums up a quintessentially Brazilian philosophy as well as an art form and a way of life. Literally (and inadequately) translated, it means “give a way,” which doesn’t begin to do justice to the rich and subtle inferences the expression embraces. Dar um jeito is a Brazilian’s typical recourse when confronted with the many pepinos (“cucumbers”; i.e., problems) that daily life throws their way.

When faced with an awkward situation or a difficult problem, Brazilians rarely confront it head on—usually a futile tactic since the pepino is often the result of inflexible and sometimes absurd rules or government bureaucracy. Instead, they rely on a wide range of indirect jeitos or strategies, among them diplomacy, craftiness, flexibility, and charm, to get around an obstacle or extricate oneself from a predicament.

The whole point is to not lose your cool and make a big scene, which Brazilians, a nonconfrontational people, only resort to in extremis. When they do, it’s known as um escândalo and involves an impressive display of melodrama.

© Michael Sommers from Moon Brazil, 2nd Edition